Bitter

I love how people try to give you friendly advice from a broken place and all their hate and anguish shines through like a stained glass window. You try to make your point about how you are trying o be better, feel better and do better but all they want to dredge up is the past experience that led them ti their untimely demise(which is why they are such a fucking wreck leaking their hatred on life upon you and many others).
 It shows how much people are willing to let go when they think they have nothing to loose until it's all gone...then what? Who are you, where are you, who even cares if you are? I just had an encounter with a sibling who is more interested in bashing and hashing out the past instead of preparing for the present and future, which could be so bright. It was more important to feel good about themselves than the problem at hand. It was more important to be heard in a negative light than address the an issue that could change all our lives.  I ask no more than to be positive and present with myself and with my feelings. I wish no harm unto those whom I have had hardships with or with me. I only want to move forward in a light that my kin would be proud and continue the tradition throughout our lineage....that is too much to ask for I guess. Sometimes it's not easy doing what's right, nor do people recognize it when it is done but in the long run, and while your doing it, it feels good. 


Family is hard to deal with and to come by if you are not blessed with one. Time is too short to harbor feelings that will not serve you on the day the sun set upon you.( If not now...when? If not ever....why not? ) I really wanted to make this whole thing about why we should and should not but someone very wise told me that you shouldn't on anyone. I guess what I'm trying to relay is that when opportunity knocks...