A positive spin on what could have been ugly
Recently, I have worked with a young woman who is black. Not African American, black because we are Americans who are a melting pot of different races who ignored the," Keep it in your own gene pool", way of thinking. I do not know one person who is just BLACK. I have had many conversations with myself about her behavior and the overlooked boundaries. The level of respect weighs upon who I knew and what I could do for her that would make her look good in front of "her" piers. These are the things I have said to myself and not her because I am sure conversation would not go well nor would civil be a state which we could uphold after such a specific mention on a touchy subject.
Robin's Thoughts:
It has come to my attention that you do not respect my boundaries or my person, this is how I deduced this. When our agreement changed from May this year to January's end due to money mismanaged by you and lack of desire to come to the so-called "Ghetto" for my clients, things began to go awry. I paid, in full, with my promise in full understanding that I would have to move my things out and paint the space that I occupied. When time came, I found that "you" packed "MY" belongings without my permission and threw away the paint and plastic to repaint the room back to its status which means, I would have to repurchase everything all over again.
In the time I have worked with you, I have shared my talents with your community with little to no respect and was looked down upon, not to mention feeling like less than a partner and more like an employee, giving your friends hand massages with the same look and feel of unimportance and quite beneath them all. It is true that I do not look, feel or sound like the stereotypical Black person because our family believes that we are Humans first and black by popular demand. The color of our skin is unimportant to the quality of person who we have become through struggles of societies claims and comfortable boxes they may try to put us in. We strive to pave our own way and challenge others to look upon us as equals and Humans who deserve to be heard, loved, honored, respected and gifted with equality. In my 37 years on this planet, the Black community has not offered such a reciprocal notion thus far. It is also true in this particular situation.
You may not know this, an Alter is a personal and sacred place for worship and honor. When you decided to take that down, in "my" space you desecrated it and me, much like digging up someones grave( not everyone would see it this way). When you decided to not call me and ask," would it be okay if I took your stuff down to speed up the process of your exit", let me further know how much you care not of me and my boundaries. I was brought up not to touch things that do not belong to me without permission and to put back anything that I have found in its place that was not mine. I do not go into others belongings or rooms or personal items because its a direct boundary cross and a disrespect to said person...especially without their expressed permission. So when you took it upon yourself to break down my alter and place my belonging in my wooden chest haphazardly, I then knew, what kind of person you were and how to move forward with my exit. I have given my talents and money to an idea that this would be the answer and step into what makes me uncomfortable and you have proven that my judgements were on point. So I say this; I cleaned the space, taped the room up and filled the holes that I made with my bars and paintings. I also purchased primer to coat the room yet, I will not repaint it to its status. You are more than welcome restart how you see fit without my help as I have helped you ten times over so now you can help yourself. I wish nothing more than for you to find peace in your life where color does not matter, status does not matter and the people you touch and touch you will be equal and loved the same. I have no desire to work with, for or alongside as we do not share the same views. It has been a very interesting learning experience, one to not repeat, and I am grateful that you are one of my teachers as what not to do and how to not treat people.
It may not look like a blessing now but you were blessed to have a person who was willing to uplift, educate and befriend, as well as embrace, all possibilities we could have conjured together. I may not look, sound or act like the Black people you know, nor would I have expected the stereotypes to lead my judgement, but I am as Black as the come and as Human as any other. I know where I come from. I know my history and made the conscience choice to not behave or treat those, I encounter, they way my examples have in the past. I do not force those to live by my standards but I do wish that a certain level of respect and equality to be displayed. Hope you find peace in my words instead of hate or judgement. I hope you understand that this is my way to communicate my view on how things were for me and not as a subjective participant. You are an amazing person no matter what feeling I may have or may not have gathered. When I say,"Hello Goddess", I really meant it. All women, in my eyes, are Goddess and Empresses. So, Goddess, peace be with you always. May your journey take you to places unforgettable and the lessons abundant.
-Robin
Robin's Thoughts:
It has come to my attention that you do not respect my boundaries or my person, this is how I deduced this. When our agreement changed from May this year to January's end due to money mismanaged by you and lack of desire to come to the so-called "Ghetto" for my clients, things began to go awry. I paid, in full, with my promise in full understanding that I would have to move my things out and paint the space that I occupied. When time came, I found that "you" packed "MY" belongings without my permission and threw away the paint and plastic to repaint the room back to its status which means, I would have to repurchase everything all over again.
In the time I have worked with you, I have shared my talents with your community with little to no respect and was looked down upon, not to mention feeling like less than a partner and more like an employee, giving your friends hand massages with the same look and feel of unimportance and quite beneath them all. It is true that I do not look, feel or sound like the stereotypical Black person because our family believes that we are Humans first and black by popular demand. The color of our skin is unimportant to the quality of person who we have become through struggles of societies claims and comfortable boxes they may try to put us in. We strive to pave our own way and challenge others to look upon us as equals and Humans who deserve to be heard, loved, honored, respected and gifted with equality. In my 37 years on this planet, the Black community has not offered such a reciprocal notion thus far. It is also true in this particular situation.
You may not know this, an Alter is a personal and sacred place for worship and honor. When you decided to take that down, in "my" space you desecrated it and me, much like digging up someones grave( not everyone would see it this way). When you decided to not call me and ask," would it be okay if I took your stuff down to speed up the process of your exit", let me further know how much you care not of me and my boundaries. I was brought up not to touch things that do not belong to me without permission and to put back anything that I have found in its place that was not mine. I do not go into others belongings or rooms or personal items because its a direct boundary cross and a disrespect to said person...especially without their expressed permission. So when you took it upon yourself to break down my alter and place my belonging in my wooden chest haphazardly, I then knew, what kind of person you were and how to move forward with my exit. I have given my talents and money to an idea that this would be the answer and step into what makes me uncomfortable and you have proven that my judgements were on point. So I say this; I cleaned the space, taped the room up and filled the holes that I made with my bars and paintings. I also purchased primer to coat the room yet, I will not repaint it to its status. You are more than welcome restart how you see fit without my help as I have helped you ten times over so now you can help yourself. I wish nothing more than for you to find peace in your life where color does not matter, status does not matter and the people you touch and touch you will be equal and loved the same. I have no desire to work with, for or alongside as we do not share the same views. It has been a very interesting learning experience, one to not repeat, and I am grateful that you are one of my teachers as what not to do and how to not treat people.
It may not look like a blessing now but you were blessed to have a person who was willing to uplift, educate and befriend, as well as embrace, all possibilities we could have conjured together. I may not look, sound or act like the Black people you know, nor would I have expected the stereotypes to lead my judgement, but I am as Black as the come and as Human as any other. I know where I come from. I know my history and made the conscience choice to not behave or treat those, I encounter, they way my examples have in the past. I do not force those to live by my standards but I do wish that a certain level of respect and equality to be displayed. Hope you find peace in my words instead of hate or judgement. I hope you understand that this is my way to communicate my view on how things were for me and not as a subjective participant. You are an amazing person no matter what feeling I may have or may not have gathered. When I say,"Hello Goddess", I really meant it. All women, in my eyes, are Goddess and Empresses. So, Goddess, peace be with you always. May your journey take you to places unforgettable and the lessons abundant.
-Robin
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