Where am I?

12hours before I get on the plane I was informed that the people whom I was to stay with just got back from a long trip and are tired with sickness, I opted to stay elsewhere, so Another showed to be available; grateful. Anxiety already and I haven't left for what should be a great time away from the depression that is my day to day. I arrive and found a friendly face with greeting very illuminating. Breakfast, catching up, laughter, sadness, confusion and great food with great service, can't get this in the bay. Drop my stuff off, relax before my treatment with William Duarte(the most amazing teacher and surrogant Dad) my old boss and mentor. Andrea Watson, Will and William were full of smiles and glad I made it to visit. I told them of my condition and immediately they give me luv. After my treatment I went back to my last minuet hostest. Hung out with Mr. Liam, really cool kid, and passed out from not enough sleep and emotional drainage. Woke up to happy faces who are hungry for my famous lasagna, naturally, whilst telling the tale of how I got to be as messed up as I am today. The next day was St Patty's so I had to eat up, power up and get my head together with good sleep . . .it never came. Most people who wanted to see me made effort that night, others couldn't because of work and other unforeseen issues, all is forgiven. I made plans to see people, I just couldn't get myself to travel the distance to see them, explain several times over what's going on with me while looking at blank faces of," I don't know what to say. How can I help you?" And my favorite, let's change the subject. So with a heavy heart and broken spirit, tears to boot, I couldn't bring myself to hang out with everyone I wanted.
 I'm tired. I'm sad and I'm not myself anymore. I don't know who I am, what I want and where I wold like to be but I do know that I have to fix this before I go crazy. I am not drinking, that was also part of why I didn't contact certain people, due to the fact that it makes me wanna vomit just thinking about it. I'm not smoking pot for the same reason. I can't tell you what will make me better, but I do know what is making me worst. So it is with a heavy heart that I say this to you . . .I am depressed! I don't know if I can be a good friend to anyone right now, especially to myself. I can't tell you when this will pass but little by little I come out of it to let you know that I'm doing better or it is a good day to talk, that is all I can offer.
 There will be more in detail in the later future but for now I would like to thank the Robinson's, Shackelford, Watson, Duarte's, Voorhies, Malunax, Johnson, Mayes for giving me my piece of mind while I was there. Allowing me to breakdown and tell my story to you was easier than I thought it would be and all the energy I have to give, I appreciate the support, wisdom and luv.